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Ilya Brezinski
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Actually feel nice for once
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For anyone who is in a rough patch in their life ~

Trigger warning: abuse, drug use, suicidal thoughts, self-harm

I grew up in a really rough home life, surrounded by abuse and drug use. I was in my own little hell for 18 years, and while I was in it, it felt as if I’d never escape. I turned to drug use and self harm because I was made to feel worthless, and I felt I should treat myself as such and fall into the same self destructive patterns I grew up around. Music was my only form of release. This time last year, When shit got really bad, I would lock myself in my room and listen to songs like Hope Theory and Cycles by No Bragging Rights on repeat until I felt safe in my thoughts.

Now a year later, my life is completely different. I moved out of my house, graduated high school, have a job that I’m passionate about and excited to wake up for in the morning, and my body is in my control. My self expression and my life belong to me. I’m sitting on a bus right now, and Hope Theory started playing while my phone was on shuffle. As I heard the words, “I still believe the power in our dreams,” I started tearing up and this incredible feeling of relief and happiness came over me. If you would have told me a year ago that it was possible for me to be this happy I wouldn’t have believed you.

Keep your head up, kiddos. Nothing lasts forever. One day you will have control of the things that seem to ravage your life. You can cut unhealthy people from you life. You will find happiness. Don’t give up, take care of yourself, lovelies. ❤️